What to do with self-sabotaging people – Part 1

I was just in a discussion with one of my Linkedin groups as to how to handle people who are self-sabotaging. First things first, how do you spot a self-sabotaging person? Here are a few of their characteristics:

 

1. Self-sabotaging people are aware of what needs to be done, but do something else.
2. They stop learning and listening - they believe they already know what they need to know.
3. They stop asking for counsel or use the wrong advisors [we should use only wise and trusted advisors].
4. They spend their energy in menial things and events; they don’t pick their fights – they sweat the small stuff and everything is a conflict to the death.
5. They’re forever looking at the past: what mistakes they made, what [they think] people did to them, how they were wronged.
6. They are always looking at the future [but do nothing to achieve it] – they wish upon every star but never lift a finger to make things happen.
7. They make excuses for their behavior and don’t take responsibility – my parents treated me bad, my [condition] excuses my [behavior].
8. They believe the labels they apply to themselves – I am [neurotic, unlucky, ugly, fat] so I can’t change [something]
9. They always believe things are too difficult and find the negative in everything.

They not only waste their time, but yours. They come into your office and take precious energy away from people and things that really need it, they leave you exhausted and little less alive than before, they don’t leave anything behind but stress and desperation. But, what should you do with them? In my next post, I will present a good list of solid advice as to how to handle this type of person.