What to do with self-sabotaging people – part 2

What to do with self-sabotaging people? How do you coach/deal with them? In my previous post (here) I explained that self-sabotaging people are basically stuck and not moving forward. They seem incapable of doing what needs to be done.  Can you coach/manage someone like this? The answer is yes, if they are willing and, specially, if you are willing to put the effort required to unstuck them.

One thing first, if you can avoid the relationship altogether is a better course of action. Wasting time on somebody who is doing their earnest to destroy their lives is a bad bet.  Remember that these people are masters are sucking up time and energy, so be wary of their games. But in the case that you won’t or can’t avoid it, then this are the actions that may help you:

• Determine what you want to accomplish: are you there to save a career, save a buddy or just make someone more productive?  Your efforts should focus on that and not on solving everything.
• Recognize that you cannot change anything yourself, they need to do their own work.
• Be very clear about the boundaries in the relationship – define what you will do, what you won’t do and what you expect them to do, and even how to do it – did I mentioned that this requires a lot of time?
• Set clear goals, but focus on the short term. Giving them too many long term goals will cause them to procrastinate. Don’t give them that chance – keep it short and sweet.
• Set meeting guidelines. Your door should be open but be wary of too many unscheduled meetings or emergencies. Keep track of the time you are spending.
• Make sure they are doing their work and making their own choices. It is too easy to fall into the “I-can-solve-anything” mode. You are there to guide and mentor, not do their job.

One last thing, even if you do all of the above perfectly, there is a big chance that they will not respond or, despite what they say, perform what was agreed. So, be ready to drop them if that happens.

Thinking about strategy: too many leaders

If you find that for your company, thinking about strategy requires a monumental effort it may be because you are including every possible variable in your analysis. Sometimes this approach to strategy comes about because there isn't a dominant leader in the company but several strong-willed executives. Without a charismatic leader - a company may flounder without direction. Just like two people can't drive a car, too many executives can't drive a company.

Instead of really working cooperatively, the dominant executives will try to control the situation by introducing variables in the analysis that will lead to their desired outcomes. The result will be an ineffective strategy:

• Too broad: being the no 1 position in the whole wide world (what does this mean?)
• Conflicting objectives: being the premium brand using the cheapest components.
• Unattainable: going from pure software development to software integration without making real changes to the way things are done.

If you are not one of the strong-willed executives, there isn't an easy solution to your problem (but that is why you are reading this post). What you need is a third party that breaks the stalemate and takes over - sometimes it can be you! Sometimes you need to use somebody on the board or the CEO. You need somebody with enough authority/clout to break the stalemate and take over completely. If there isn't any single person who can do this, then you will have to play Big Brother or Survival and make alliances with enough power to take over. Make sure you control the alliance or you will have the same situation but with even more people involved.

If you are one of the strong-willed executives (BTW, thanks for reading the post) the solution is even more simple: get another job (find your own company to play with without sharing) or get the the other person another job. If you are evenly matched (the unmovable object meeting the unstoppable force kind of situation) why are you complicating your life? find another company and take over. Do avoid anything with the N1H1 virus or Facebook photos in the mix.